The man who never had an opinion lived in a nondescript house, a creaky old tenement or an orange and blue apartment block and he voted three ways. He had no heart to tell him what to think and no head to tell him what to feel but he had a hundred thousand friends and a membership in all the political parties – how he hated all the rest. He reached the end of his days by following some simple rules.
Nationalists are evil / Nationalists are good.
Immigrants are evil / Immigrants are good.
Conservative are evil /
Don’t talk to strangers. This is a very important rule but mainly just for kids.
Anyone who disagrees with me, the man with no opinion, is vile, un-friend them immediately.
Politicians are corrupt, except the ones I like.
Bankers are like humans but much more greedy.
Don’t look at your credit card statement.
The evil rich are too rich and the noble poor are too poor and the rich who used to be poor are the worst of all.
The noble rich are too poor and the evil poor are too rich and the poor who used to be rich are the worst of all.
Religious people are idiots. The bible is full of contradictions, that’s why I’ve never read it. I already believe they are there so why would I ever need to find any?
Your nationality tells you all you need to know. Thank goodness you didn’t end up with one of those other nationalities.
Tolerate all kinds of people except the people who aren’t tolerant. When I say tolerate, obviously you can still make jokes about gay people, that’s fine, smiley face makes it ok. Just don’t be gay about it. Americans as well, we could all use a laugh now and then. Oh and the mentally ill, you know, mental people.
Being right makes you right, morally superior, to one who is wrong. If a member of an opposing group says something wrong your entire system of belief is correct.
And my personal favourite: follow your heart.
The medical consequences of doing otherwise are unthinkable.
The day they cut off – The Day They Cut Off The Internet, the television man said that the news websites were reporting that the word on the street was the blogs had gone dark. It was so quiet you could hear a bomb drop, so quiet you could hear a child cry, so quiet you could hear yourself think. Quiet, so quiet, that you didn’t know what to do.
The man who never had an opinion realised his problem wasn’t that he’d never had an opinion but that he’d had too many and all he ever needed was one.